He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
