Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
