he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Randomize
