Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
