I'm really into asian looking animals
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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