I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
