i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
