what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
