going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
as a side note pls kill me
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
