She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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