Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
