so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
