Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
