I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
