The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
