O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
