ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
We left an ass print on the piano.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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