I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
