there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
and i looked up. we had an audience...
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Randomize
