coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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