Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
