are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
