you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
where are my eyebrows?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
