yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I look excited, but its just a facade.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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