Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
