similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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