i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
