dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Sorry my hands just texted you
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
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