I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
