At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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