after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
