i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
