And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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