I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
