you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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