I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
