I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
