Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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