I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
