You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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