Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
