I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
