If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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