hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
