i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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