your thong is hanging out like whoa
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
