He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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