first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
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