is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
