I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
