Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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